Valentine's...

Well, tomorrow is the st. Valentine's day, but I don't feel it to be some kind of BIG day! O fcourse, I have a wonderful present for Kolya (red 'hearty' lamp) and a wonderful underwear for myself, and there're gonna be flowers, ice cream and romantic music and we're gonna make love and just be together... But I don't feel it to be a BIG day!!!! WHY? Can't explain this, maybe, it's beacause it's not our first st.v.day, and the first one was wonderful... Sometimes i think it's so wrong to have a serious relationship at my age. Of course I love him, but I don't have time for friends... Look at my sis, she does everything she wants, has tons of friends and hobbies, and of course she'll find somebody very soon, cause she's a cutie! And it would be so right to have somebody t 2(?) (she's a woman, so I'll keep her age at secret!!!). But in my life everything goes like, he's my first man and he's gonna marry me some day... It seems like losing my best years I could spend just having fun with my friends and doing some crazy stuff! But I love him. love him so much. I love the way he takes me up and says I'm not heavy, the way he says 'Mashik', the way he looks at me when he wants to make love to me, the way he tells fairy tails to make me asleep... I think I like everything about him, of course, there ARE some 'buts', but I prefer not to think about them. Errr, just talked to mom, she wants me to have exams next summer again. That's so stupid, I have no chances to get into the university. I dreamt about nice, easy summer, but good bye to that. Session and then exams again... Fuck me. I hate studying.