Love and jealousy.

Well, I feel so bad of being so deeply in love. I mean I go sooo mad about his doing some things that make me sooo jealous. For example, yesterday I went to this damned Fight club under his password and so his chat with some fucking crazy_girl. I couldn't see everything, but it was clear that he was coming up for her and she was ok with that, but then he told her 'well, get dressed, cause my councios will eat me after this, I can't do that to my fiancee (???)' and then 'bye, sweetie'. I can't describe my feelings when I saw that. It was so unbelievebly terrible I felt so betrayed... I just started crying and crying... Of course, that was nothing, I HAD SEX OVER THE ICQ, but it was when I didn't love him. And now I wouldn't ever do that... Of course, there is a guy in the university with his eyes on me, and I don't mind, but it'll never be more than a simple flirt. And then he came and brought me a rose (I HATE WHITE ROSES!!!) and I asked him if he had fun with crazy_girl and I reminded him about that for about a thousand times... Ohh, it's so bad to be jealous. And how could he do this to me? I love him so much and I know he loves me too... Just like he touches my toes and says they're beautiful... Of course, he loves me and I know I drive him crazy and give him everything he wants, but still... WHY??? HOW COME??? I don't wanna be so in love with him, cause it hurts me everytime we quarell or I see things like that... I'm so stupid... Life is so stupid. And he's such a dick. Hate him for doing this to me. But he remembered about me and stopped... Curse him, curse him, cause HE started it.